88 relatable funny travel quotes that will make your day

Traveling isn’t always honkey-dory. Sure, traveling gives us some amazing memories but sometimes, we face challenges on the road or even experience things we would rather forget. However, most of the time we can look back at our memories with smiles on our faces because travel can be pretty funny at times and what better to help you turn around a bad day than some humor? Whether you’re planning a new trip, recovering from one or you’re just going through travel blues, here are some funny travel quotes that will make your day.

Adventure-related funny travel quotes

funny travel quotes

1. “You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra

2. “People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.” – St. Augustine

3. “If you think adventures are dangerous, try routine: it’s Lethal.” – Paul Coelho

4. “Adventure is a path. The real adventure, self-determined, self-motivated, often risky, forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world.” – Mark Jenkins

5. “Every man can transform the world from one of monotony and drabness to one of excitement and adventure.” – Irving Wallace

6. “No matter where you go, there you are.” – Buckaroo Banzai

7. “The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.” – American Nomad

8. “Birds literally just eat, travel and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.” – The Captain

9. “I love to travel, but hate to arrive.” – Albert Einstein

10. “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

11. “Good things come to those, who book flights.” – Unknown

12. “I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. JUST KIDDING! I’m on the road to the airport.”- Unknown

13. “Travel has a way of stretching the mind. The stretch comes not from travel’s immediate rewards, the inevitable myriad new sights, smells and sounds, but with experiencing first-hand how others do differently what we believed to be the right and only way.” – Ralph Crawshaw

Funny quotes about travelers and tourists

funny quotes

14. “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker

15. “The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes ‘sight-seeing.’” – Daniel J. Boorstin

16. “Travel makes a wise man better, and a fool worse.” – Thomas Fuller

17. “There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.” – Stephen Colbert

18. “Travel like Gandhi, with simple clothes, open eyes, and an uncluttered mind.” – Rick Steve

19. “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman

20. “I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.” – Hilaire Belloc

21. “Jet Lag is for Amateurs.” –Unknown

22. “The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass.” – Mark Twain

23. “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes

25. “For me, being ‘chill’ is getting to the airport three hours before take-off so I can sit in a restaurant directly across from my gate and be anxious about missing my flight from there.” – Alli Brown

26. “Without travel, I would have wound up a little ignorant white Southern female, which was not my idea of a good life.” – Lauren Hutton

Funny travel quotes about flights

If you’ve done your fair share of flying, you’ll love this funny travel quotes about flights.

funny flight quotes

27. “I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.” – Unknown

28. “That moment when boarding is complete and the seat next to you is EMPTY!” – Unknown

29. “The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.” – Alyssa Limperis

30. “You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.” Unknown

31. “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” – George Roberts

32. “If you see I’m asleep when you’re serving snacks & drinks, please wake my ass up. Sincerely, I want my money’s worth.” – Unknown

33. “There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.” – Orson Welles

34. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

35. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore

36. “Never get behind old people in airport security. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left”. – George Clooney (Up In The Air)

37. “Now I know why they tell you to put your head between your knees on crash landings. You think you’re going to kiss your ass good-bye.” – Terry Hanson

38. “Please remain seated until we’ve reached the gate, then feel free to stand hunched over weirdly sideways for 15 minutes while we do whatever.” – ContritePerson

39. “Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life.” – Jia Tolentino

Funny quotes about packing

As someone who traveled a lot, funny travel quotes about packing are some of my favorites!

funny travel quotes

40. “Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” – Unknown

41. “My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.” – Adam Rippon

42. “Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Unknown

43. “I haven’t worn these pants since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case.” – Tank Sinatra

44. “Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.”- Unknown

45. “Up 5.15 a.m. thinking, pack, pack, pack. I appear to have accumulated more things. How did this happen? I haven’t shopped. Think my bath oils have bred.”― Emma Thompson

46. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” –Susan Heller

Relatable funny travel quotes we all experienced

funny travel quotes

47. “I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!” – Unknown

48. “Vacation calories don’t count. Right?” – Unknown

49. “A change of latitude would help my attitude.”- Unknown

50. “Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your Instagram account!”- Unknown

51. ” I’ve got 99 problems but I’m on vacation and I am ignoring them all!“ – Unknown

52. “You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.” – Unknown

53. “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” – Unknown

54. “Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once.” – Unknown

55. “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” – Unknown

56. “If you look like your passport picture, you probably need a trip.” – Unknown

57. “I want to live in a world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.” – Unknown

58. “I googled my symptoms. Turns out I just need a vacation.” – Unknown

59. “It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.” – Unknown

60. “I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.” – Unknown

61. “When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to disassemble a bomb? They take it and they’re like, ‘What do I do … I don’t really … ha-huh …’ Yeah, it’s the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!” –  Dane Cook

62. “If at some point you don’t ask yourself ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ then you’re not doing it right.” – Roland Gau

63. “Nothing says ‘vacation’ like spending $72 on food and booze at the airport before even reaching your destination.” – Ashley Fern

Funny Destination-related quotes

road travel quotes

63. “The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.” –Dave Barry

64. “You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.” –Charles Kuralt

65. “Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river.” – Old Haitian Proverb

66. “Canada is the vichyssoise of nations — it’s cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.” –Stuart Keate

67. “Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way”. – Dave Barry

68. “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld

69. “I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me, they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.” –Wallis Simpson

70. “There are three trips you take to India: the one you think you’re going to have – that you plan for; the one you actually have; and the one you live through once you go back home.” — Erin Reese

71. “In Paris, they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.” – Mark Twain

72. “Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last thirty years, many foreign people still speak foreign languages.” – Dave Barry

73. “The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

Funny relationship travel quotes

Do you like traveling as a couple? Then you’ll surely love these funny travel quotes for couples.

travel couple quotes

74. “Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversations.” – Elizabeth Drew

75. “Travelling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.’” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

76. “To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark

77. “Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.” – Unknown

78. “All you need is love a passport.” – Unknown

79. “Two great talkers will not travel far together.” –Spanish Proverb

80. “Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.” – Desus Nice

81. “If you are waiting for someone to travel with you, you may end up waiting a lifetime!”- Unknown

82. “I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure.” – Unknown

83. “Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equalling a hundred miles.” — Roseanne Barr

84. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

Funny travel quotes for families

And last but not least, if you travel with your family, these funny travel quotes for families will be completely relatable

family travel quotes

85. “My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” –Unknown

86. “My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.” – Jared Freid

87. “My favorite memory from childhood is my parents paying for my holidays.” – Unknown

88. “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” – John Steinbeck

Did these funny travel quotes make your day? Which one was your favorite? Do you have any more funny travel quotes we didn’t mention? Feel free to share them with us in the comments! If you liked this article, also check out this list of 100+ wanderlust quotes.

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5 thoughts on “88 relatable funny travel quotes that will make your day”

  1. I am from Nepal where the mountain is located I have been trekking to the mountains for over 10 years and I always enjoyed the views of the majestic sceneries and nature, I am so compressed with your feeds as you mentioned on this blog, well don!

    Reply
  2. Rule 48 is one I have had for a long time but applies to everything once you leave home, I call it DCOL – “doesn’t count on location.”

    Reply

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